Sometimes its hard to love people
Some people are easy to love… And some people are really difficult to love! So how do we show the same kind of love to different kinds of people?
In my most recent post, All About Marriage – 9 Lessons Learned in 9 Years, I mentioned that love is not a feeling, it’s an attitude. Since I got a lot of good feedback from that comment, I wanted to expand on it a little here today.
So here we go…
The Bible gives us a clear definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
To love like that is most certainly not an easy task! We all get angry, we all have moments of selfishness, and we all fail sometimes. That’s why it’s so important to realize that to show love in the best way, we don’t follow what our heart is feeling, instead we should follow the truth of God’s Word and practice leading our hearts in an attitude of love. Follow God's Word and lead your heart in an attitude of #loveCLICK TO TWEET
So for today, let’s just focus on the parts of this Scripture that tell us what love is and how we can best put them into practice.
To download and print two free bookmarks to help you remember how to love better, click here!
1. Love is patient
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
To walk in love we have to practice patience in every situation; with our families, our friends, our co-workers, acquaintances, and even complete strangers. When situations arise that try your patience, take the opportunity to make a wise choice. Choose patience when you don’t feel like it. Take a few deep breaths if you need to, count to 10, or 20, calmly walk away for a few moments. Do whatever you can to remain calm and peaceable in the moment, remembering God’s promises for you if you will practice patience.
The Bible tells us not to become weary because God knew that we would, He knows that patience is not an easy thing for us to do, but He gives us hope and a promise that if we will not give up then wewill reap a harvest of blessing. That’s good enough for me!
2. Love is kind
“Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for He is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.” Luke 6:35
When we practice kindness then we are truly acting like God’s children!! Yes! That part alone makes me want to focus more on the kindness that I’m showing in my daily life.
I also love the end of this verse, “for He is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.” Isn’t that a great example to follow? It’s so easy to be kind to people who are kind to you, but God expects us to practice kindness all of the time, with everyone. According to this verse, kindness is not putting on a fake smile and saying a few nice words, it’s about treating others really well, lending to others with pure motives, and being gracious even when others are not. Kindness is definitely an attitude we have to choose to walk in because the world isn’t always a nice place and we won’t always feel like being nice in it. But when we choose kindness, we can once again hold on to God’s great promise for us that our reward from Heaven will be great.
So, let kind words fill your thoughts and your mouth in every situation. Find sincere ways to compliment others; if you like something they are wearing, tell them, if they did something well, tell them. Be willing to lend a hand where help is needed. Keep your eyes open for opportunities to become a blessing to someone else.
3. Love rejoices with the truth
“It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:3-4
This one is so easy! Be joyful and sincerely happy when others are walking in God’s truth! In the small things and the big ones, be ready to celebrate victory, and stand together in trials.
God is love, so the absolute best way we can love is to be full of God and celebrate when others are too! No victory is too small, and no trial is too big to find joy in its midst. God’s truth is one of the greatest freedoms we have, so rejoice my friends! And spread the love of God when you do. No victory is too small, and no trial is too big to find #joy in the midst. #RejoiceCLICK TO TWEET
4. Love always protects
“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.” Proverbs 10:12
The original word in this verse for “protects” is stegei, which means “to cover”. So, in order to really show the God kind of love, we must seek to cover our loved ones shortcomings instead of exposing them. Follow me closely on this one, it does not say that we sweep them under the rug and ignore them all together. It says to cover them, like a shield, to provide protection.
Let me just give you an example to illustrate this. In the book of Philemon, Paul writes to his friend to ask a big favor. His friend has had a slave run away, which was considered a serious crime, punishable by death. But Paul met the slave while in prison, and the two of them became friends and the slave became a great help in Paul’s ministry. So, Paul writes to his friend Philemon to ask him to accept this slave back without punishment, with his slate wiped clean. Paul didn’t expose the slave for the deserter that he was, or for the crimes that he had committed, instead he took him in, shared the gospel, helped transform his life, and then helped to change the course of his future.
That’s how we need to protect others. We don’t need to gossip about their lives. We don’t need to take advantage of their weaknesses. We don’t need to expose their vulnerabilities. And we don’t need to complain to others about their faults or failures. Instead we DO NEED TO show them love, by offering forgiveness, grace, and an opportunity to grow in truth. We shield their vulnerability from a world bent to expose it, we strengthen them in their weaknesses, and we forgive them in their transgressions.
That’s how God protects us, he doesn’t expose us for the rotten things we have done or for our shortcomings. Instead, He looks at us through a flawless lens, and quietly ministers truth to our hearts allowing us time to grow.
5. Love always trusts
“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10
Trust can be a hard thing to offer, especially once its been broken. I really struggled with this one for a long time with someone who I was really close to. That person had broken my confidence so many times that I refused to offer trust anymore. But really, all that did was cause tension and bad feelings in our relationship. I always struggled because of how deeply I cared, I wanted to trust my friend, but everything the world had ever taught me said that trust had to be earned and this person had clearly not earned it.
But then, I got a hold of God’s truth and learned a lesson that changed everything: trust isn’t earned, its freely given.
For me, it always helps to go back to the book of Matthew, when Jesus is talking about forgiveness. Peter asks him how many times he should forgive someone, and he thinks he is being generous when he offers to forgive seven times. But in true Jesus fashion, He responds, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
Seventy times seven… that’s a lot!
I know that Scripture is about forgiveness, but it goes hand in hand with this idea of trust because when you forgive someone you aren’t holding anything against them. When you offer forgiveness, you also offer trust. So practice forgiveness and offer trust, even when others haven’t earned it. In that you will be displaying God’s perfect love.
**If you really have trouble trusting in others, then simply trust in God. Trust in the Scripture for this section (Psalm 9:10) that promises as you seek God, He will not abandon you. If you find yourself hesitant to trust people for your own love walk, do it out of obedience to God and rest assured that no one who obeys God with a pure heart will ever be put to shame.
6. Love always hopes
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
The Greek word for hope, elpidzo, means “to hope or wait for salvation with joy and full confidence.” It’s not just wishing upon a star for some far off thing, it’s being fully confident of receiving the blessing of a promise that has not yet come to pass. Just like we have full confidence in the Salvation we have received and we have full confidence in the physical return of our King, we need to also have full confidence in each other. Believe for the best in people instead of waiting for the worst.
Walk out this virtue by being the forever optimist. See the glass half full. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Offer grace. Be a cheerleader. Stand on the sidelines and root others on to victory when its appropriate. Give others a chance to be great and help encourage them along the way. Show them that you have full confidence in who God created them to be.
7. Love always perseveres
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
Here’s where we hit home the point. Love is not a feeling, it’s an attitude. To love with the God kind of unconditional, agape, love we have to choose it. And we have to choose it every. single. day. God’s love withstands everything. It is always the same, in good times and bad, in poverty and in abundance, in sickness and in health, in happy times and in sad ones, when things are easy and when they’re hard. Unconditional love means love without conditions! There is nothing, not ONE SINGLE THING, you and I can ever do to make God stop loving us.
If we want to truly understand what it means to love others, we have to choose to walk in this kind of love. Standing strong to the end of time, no matter our circumstances because we are pressing on towards a higher calling and we want to spill God’s love out onto a world that desperately needs it. Press on my friends, because this is the best promise yet! You are blessed!
Love is not weakness, in fact, it’s quite the opposite; it takes strength to choose the high road and walk in an attitude of love when you are faced with a challenge. Love doesn’t make allowance for bad behavior, but it gently corrects and fiercely protects while offering grace. Walking in love doesn’t make you a doormat to be stepped on and abused, it makes you stronger, and it multiplies your Kingdom reach farther than you can ever imagine. One act of love can start a ripple that has the potential to spread to the ends of the earth.
Let’s get out there and love like crazy friends!